This week in gross Internet news: Your smartphone, tablet, keyboard and other tech gadgets are filthier than a toilet seat. That’s right. The next time your friend hands you his smartphone to snap a picture, consider this stomach-churning fact: 16 percent of cell phones are smeared with feces, according to a new infographic by Keeping It Kleen. And your phone touches your face. Eww! But wait, there’s more. Your keyboard is caked with 60 times more germs than your commode, and your television remote is by far the most disgusting, infectious chunk of technology in your home. You might as well be snuggling up with the toilet in a Lollapalooza Porta Potty. Feeling a bit queasy? Perhaps it’s the E. coli or staph infection you contracted from your potentially deadly, bacteria-laden iPad.
Before you throw all your toys in a bucket of bleach and call it a day, use these tips to remove the gunk and destroy the germs lurking in your favorite high-tech gear. First, you’ll need a hazmat suit, a pair of yellow gloves and a respirator a la Breaking Bad. Kidding. Read on.
Cellphones and smartphones
We could tell you not to use your cellphone or smartphone in the bathroom, but you’re going to do it anyway, so here are some ways to banish the ick.
Zap it with a UV sanitizer
UV sanitizers, like the Phonesoap Smartphone Sanitizer and the Cell-Blaster Universal UV Cell-Phone Sanitizer, are an easy way to sterilize your germ-riddled cellphone or smartphone. These gadgets kill 99.9 percent of the bacteria festering on the surface and crawling through the crevices of your device. Pop your phone into one of these bad boys, and it will annihilate E. coli, strep, salmonella, staph and other disease-producing microorganisms and viruses in as little as 30 seconds.
Wipe it down
If you don’t have one of those futuristic cleaning pods, cleaners such as iKlear and Wireless Wipes are great options, or follow these simple steps to give your phone a good scrubbing:
- Turn off your phone.
- Dampen a microfiber cloth (like those used for eyeglasses) with distilled water and gently wipe down the phone, avoiding openings. Use moist Q-tips to clean crevices. You can use a 40/60 mixture of alcohol and water to clean hard surfaces, but keep it away from the screen and openings.
- Dry thoroughly with a lint-free cloth (not a hairdryer).
Do not use household cleaners or paper towels. These can destroy the oleophobic coating that protects the screen from fingerprints and scratch the surface.
Tablets
To clean your tablet, follow the same steps provided to clean cellphones and smartphones, except use a dry cloth to clean the power and Home buttons (in addition to any openings). Resist the urge to use glass cleaner (it will ruin the surface), and do not spray liquid directly onto the tablet.
Keyboards
And now for the horror show. Five times dirtier than your toilet, we give you… the festering keyboard. Don’t be frightened. You can do this.
- Unplug the keyboard or remove the batteries.
- Turn it upside down and shake it gently to dislodge any pizza roll crumbs and those chocolate sprinkles that escaped your donut last summer.
- Hold it on an angle and spray around the keys with compressed air, and repeat with the keyboard upright, to free those tiny dust bunnies.
- Clean the keyboard with disinfectant wipes and dry thoroughly.
For stubborn gunk (like that smattering of molten Strawberry Pop Tart lava), try Cyber Clean, a cool putty-like compound that lifts away stains and stuck-on yuck in a single swoop. Bonus: it’s fun to use!
Mouse
Your mouse is probably as bacteria-addled as its furry counterpart that dines nightly at the rodent snack bar that is your keyboard. Thankfully, cleaning your electronic mouse is a piece of cake.
- Remove the batteries or unplug the mouse.
- Spray crevices and around the trackball with compressed air to release dust and dirt.
- Clean the surface with a disinfectant wipe and dry with a lint-free cloth. Make sure you don’t get the trackball wet.
TV remote
The TV remote hold the dubious distinction of being the dirtiest household item. How can a small, oblong piece of plastic be such a hotbed of bacteria? Ours is not to question why, ours is but to help you render it harmless and save yourself from being quarantined by Homeland Security (because that’s just embarrassing). The cleaning process is quite simple.
- Remove the batteries.
- Spray compressed air around the buttons and inside the battery compartment.
- Wipe down the exterior of the remote with a disinfectant wipe.
Earbuds
Wax, dirt and ear sweat build-up can leave earbuds greasy and grimy. You can toss them into one of the UV sanitizers mentioned earlier in this piece or wipe them with a cloth damped with mild soap and water.
Stop the oozing trail of virus and epidemic and do your part to save humanity. Clean. Your. Tech.
